I want to say “h8 u Samsung Wave” but she was a good little phone. No, it may not have the flashy functionality of my new iPhone 5, and it may have taken a million presses of the shutter button to take a photo, and yes, the GPS only ever tried to convince me we were in Poland, but she received e-mails and withstood drops like a pro.

Nevertheless, after two years it was time to move on.

Grant likes to think he is clever but I have at least three Gmail accounts. I just don’t like them.